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Let's see...I am trying to figure out if I want to be the wife or the mistress...I need some honest, non-judgmental answers from men without skin in the game. Once I have come to a conclusion to this...the posting will begin. Thank you in advance for constructive insight. It is greatly appreciated.

I am a woman who knows what she wants, honest, determined, intellectual, fun-loving and so much more. I do not share well with others(if you get my drift-thus the mistress role is less than ideal.). I am confident and do not like drama. I enjoy time with my man that includes exploring interests we have or will soon have, music and dinner, watching the sun set, movies into the night, the city and all the excitement it has to offer, the country and it's peace and beauty, a good joke, long conversations about whatever...connection is a must. I do love physical intimacy and want to explore...enough said about that. :) I want to connect on a spiritual level.

So...my dilemma seems to be that I want to have the connection, friendship and physical relationship that tends to be given to the mistress...The communication, openness, joy, contentment that comes from no responsibilities on the man's part. I have not been in the mistress position due to not wanting to be "the other woman." I get attached. I do have expectations. I am wondering IF I can live this kind of role.

These are a few of the many questions I have...
1. Is this what dating and "love" for a woman in her 29yr old has come to?
2. Are there men out there who want more than a ltr? (change the girlfriend when it gets real?!)
3. Do men only want an equal when it comes to mistresses?
4. Do men only marry the woman they can control?
5. Being a hopeless romantic at heart, am I screwed?????

I have made the list of pros and cons on both...From the male point of view...what are some pros and cons? General thoughts of both???

Thank you for your honest reply.